As I stand here in my balcony watching the new year's fireworks, and listening to the sounds of distant cheering welcoming 2010, I can't help looking back on 2009 and feeling overwhelmed...
2009 has been extraordinary for me in every way imagineable. The pain I've endured has left me, not cirppled, but a stronger person than I know I actually am. Weather that was emotional or physical pain. I've had my fair share of all types of pain the past year.
The year started off with the worst news I could've ever recieved, and it didn't just stop there, it was followed like blow after blow... and I kept taking it all in. Absorbing it all.
Then, I was stalked, hacked and followed by a mental psychopathetic creep (who am relieved to say is obsessevily stalking someone else now!)
I was double promoted at work.
There were several good news in my family. El7amdolelah :)
My private business fell through, which was a big blow to me. Not in a financial way, but my whole sense of being felt shattered. Changed.
People I once considered as friends turned out to be world-class backstabbers. Typical. (Ur typical bold-and-the-beast kinda drama)
I was chosen to go to New York with my boss, before I realised it was a big bribe so I'd shut up about blowing the cover on an ongoing project.
Shortly after, I quit....
I could go on forever, so I might as well stop now to save us both the time and energy.

With all the pain and shit... Am thankful for 2009. My family's support. And most of all for K. Without both of them I'd not be who I am now. A stronger me.

Special note to K: I think the world of u :) Thank u

(Funny how this blog started off philisophical, turned bitter and ended sweetly! :D)

Faker Zaman...?

Faker zaman wenta so3’ayar?
Kont te7lam tol el nahar
Te7lam te2dar, te7eb, tekbar, w te5tar
W fedelt te7lam tool el meshwar
W a3at te7lam kol el meshwar

Delwa2ty weselt le a5er darbak
Ra7 fen 7elmak wenta so3’ayar?
Wa3dak, serak w 3ahdak, lel mosta2bal
El ayam fatetak wenta wa2ef makanak te7lam
3esht mestany tes7a mn 7elmak tela2ih met7a2a2

Faker 7elmak zaman wenta so3’ayar?
Kont te7lam tol el nahar tol el meshwar
W ya reytak 7elemt tifdal so3’ayar waya 7elmak el so3’ayar
Yady 7elmak da ya ebny, kol mat2arablo yeb3ed, yekbar w yet3'ayar

Face of The City, By Fauxreel

Fauxreel's newly resleased series of street art work. Toronto-based artist calls this collection "Face of the City" which features his signature pasted paper applied in a new way. Each site-specific piece 'combines the abrasive charm found in the distressed surfaces of modern cities with the intimate familiarity of the prominent features of the human face. The works use printed facial features applied on distressed surfaces to create an unusual combination of urban environmentand printed imagery.

The artist explains, "the fusion of these two entities will simultaneously expose the frailty of urban architecture and to a certain extent human existence, while conversely exploring the idea that beauty truly lies in the scars, wrinkles and blemishes of places we live and people we meet."

Am attracted to these images so much and find them eerily comforting in a way. Perhaps its the look conveyed in the eyes... ? Maybe

Every year, when you’re a child, you become a different person.
Generally its in the fall when you re-enter school, take your place in a higher grade, leave behind the muddle and lethargy of the summer vacation. That’s when you register the change most sharply.
Afterwards you are not sure of the month or year but the changes go on, just the same. For a long while the past drops away from you easily and it would seem automatically, properly, its scenes don’t vanish so much as become irrelevant.
And then there’s a switchback, what’s been all over and done with sprouting up fresh, wanting attention, even wanting you to do something about it, though its plain there’s not on this earth a thing to be done.

Anywhere else but here

There are days like today... when I wish I was somewhere else. In another place, another city, country, in the company of different people, wearing different clothes, tasting new exotic foods, experimenting, experiencing, learning.. even breathing different air!

I miss in particular one place most. London.
What is it about this city that I find so magical and warm? So diverse and multicultural, crowded and hustling with people and yet it felt like home away from home.
I stayed there for a few summers as a student, never have I felt homesick or lonely.

Hyde Park.... the long walks I had in its winding paths and that hard butt-numbing bench I sat ate many meals alone or simply sat to sketch a still life object.

My university campus and its never-ending buzz. The stressing professors and the corridors I roamed through for many weeks, avoiding a deadline or simply coz I had nothing better to do...

The subway. The chinese take-outs. My loud mini-fridge in my dorm room. Big Ben's image. The long waiting list at Jamie Oliver's "fifteen" restaurant. The British accent "Oi!". The red telephone cabins and London Heathrow airport.
Ahhh London City.

To S.

I miss u terribly. Heaven knows I need u now more than ever. Never felt I needed to speak to u more than today...
Who'd ever thought I'd go through so much in one year?! and to have it end this way..!
Yes, S, I broke the promise, I know! but something deep inside me, tells me its worth it... this time its worth it. I can tell....
I wish u were here to go through it all with me and hold my hand. Ur shoulder to cry on and ur face to stuff with pop corn when we have the house to ourselves....
I miss u
But I guess u know that.... Up in heaven, u sense these things, u know when am missing u and thinking of u. Nobody ever replaced u & no one ever will...

Forever ur Crystal P

August

I wish it was August again.
The sun is glaring hot on my skin. But I love it...I love the August heat.
Sitting only a few feet away from the waves washing the white sand on the beach and the faint cool breeze flirting with my curls as a salty ocean mist sprays my face.
Just an emerald blue horizon stretching before my eyes, all I can hear is the crash of the sea against the rocks and a sea gulls cry in the distant...
My mind is clear but of a single vague daydream... and a frosty iced glass of diet coke with the ice cubes playing on the surface slowly dissolving...
So mesmerizing. So tranquil.... and so AUGUST!
I wish it was August again....

I hate winters