Destination: Cairo

My next trip will be to Cairo. The fascinating metropolitan city I've longed to visit for many years.
Being half-Egyptian, I'm only ashamed to admit I've been there once as a child and my memories of the place, food and people are somewhat blurred.

I can't remember the last time I've been so excited for a business trip. Perhaps its because I know the lonely hotel nights will be replaced by loud distant-family gatherings, or perhaps coz I know once I finish those meetings I'll look forward for a day full of unexpected surprises with every step I take on the crazy crowded streets of Dear Cairo.

I have an old photograph of me holding my mother's hand on a beach. I was three. I'm looking up at her in total awe and eyes full of curiousity. She stands with one hand on her large straw hat shielding her face from the strong sun and guarding the hat from flying off into the wind... On the back in small handwriting it says: "Alexandria" and the date.
I'd like to know who took this shot.

And I can't wait.

"Awel 7ob kan fi baladi.... 7elwa ya baladi" - Dalida

Goodbye's

I knew this day was coming. I just never gave it much thought or attention.
It was thrown back in my mind and marked on my calender... The day we'll all bid T farewell, wish him the best, eat cake then go home to our warm beds before we're off the next morning to work...

It never actually sunk in, the fact that... he won't be here anymore. The emotions never really came to surface until today.
He won't be here.
First, we'll be in touch on a daily basis. Eventually, bit by bit... you find yourself hardly speaking except for the occasional "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" every year... then you're just left with their memory. Silence. They're not in your life anymore. And you're not in theirs.
I know the drill. Its happened before.
Its like death. Only with death you skip the "keeping in touch until it slowly fades away" part.

I stood in the hallway holding on to his embrace and torn. "I must never show my tears in public. Be Strong. Control yourself woman!" I tell myself...
Each step he took further away I wanted to call out to him, to look back just one last time, or change his mind and not leave... Just 5 more minutes before you go?
I stared numbly at his back as he walked away.
He turned around when he reached the door... smiled. Opened the door and left.

I shut my bedroom door... Cried and cried and cried while the storm in my gut jumbled my insides leaving me in a shattered mess.
And definately in no shape to lie in my warm bed before I'm off the next morning to work.
I hate goodbbye's.

Dear T; I know you follow my blog, and you'll read this: You were my favourite. You'll always be. And you'll be missed.
And no, am not going to work with those puffy eyes that've been crying all night for you!!

Goodbye

Reality...Never felt more true

Here we are, finally together. Holding close. Never release this feeling...This moment.
My dream is now, that I'm with you.

Something in your eye tells me I have found love that never dies. I don't have to dream, Cause you're beautiful. Reality is beautiful in you...
I've never felt more true.

There you are finally the answer. Take my hand and never release; the sweetness, the magic, the happiness, I found in you.

Because you're beautiful. Reality is beautiful in you.
I've never felt more true.....

Sunrise comes too soon

Sunrise...
Following our goodbyes. Following the night like you
Disappeared too soon, but it stays
Hear it in the morning waves, spinning from the night with you. Underneath the half moon.

Close my eyes, and you'll still be here with me. Close my eyes...The sunrise comes too soon.

So I lay, lounging through an endless day, dreaming of tonight with you...
And everything we'll do. Its just time, from mundane to the sublime. From waiting for tonight with you underneath the half moon

Well I might come over just to tide me over. Coz the waiting might kill me if I don't come over. Why does time move slowly when I'm not with you?
And the sunrise comes too soon.....

Chinese all the way !

I love food. More specifically, chinese cuisine.
But I have come to a painful realization recently... that I should make a change in my eating habbits soon. Very soon. ASAP. Or esle....
How've I reached this conclusion? ok, here's the deal...

1-My favourite local chinese restaurant is on my speed dial
2- The guy who picks up the phone has my phone number and address memorized by heart.
3- The delivery guy and the phone guy know am having a bad day when I order 3 side orders instead of the usual 2.
4- The delivery guy knows me on a first name basis
5-They call me to check up am fine when I go for 2 days without ordering anything !
6-I know there's been a shift rotation in the kitchen when my Kung Pao chicken or glass noodles are not prepared the way I like 'em
7-The delivery guy doesn't accept tips coz friends don't leave a tip for friends, its insulting.
8- I've just referred to the delivery guy as my "friend"
9- My top kitchen drawer contains a 5 year supply of wooden chopsticks. Only. No cutlery.
10- The kitchen chef invited me to his wedding last month.
11- Finally... My father was visiting and he noted, "U eat so much chinese, ur eyes are starting to slant !" (Nothing racial, don't get me wrong, its an innocent joke!)

What do I do? Its been 14 hours since my last chinese meal and am craving the soy/ginger infused taste in my mouth!!
I wonder, is there a rehab for this sort of addiction? hmmm.....

HELP! am hungryyyyyyyy :'(

100 Tears Away

Go ahead and cry now
just give in to the madness
the only way to feel your joy
is to first feel the sadness

Go ahead and sail now
just give in to the ocean
the only way to tame your fear
is to feel her rocky motion

You're a long way from somewhere you call home
there's a place in your heart you're not alone
all of the happiness you seek
all of the joy for which you pray
is closer than you think
it's just 100 tears away

Go ahead and listen
just give into the voices
you think you're backed into a corner
but you've got so many choices
you're a long way from somewhere you call safe
peace of mind comes from just one place

Whatever it is that'll make you feel good
you can have if you want
if you knew that you could
it's closer than you think
it's just 100 tears away

Its getting harder and harder to concentrate.
I can't sit here and pretend nothing is wrong. Coz I know there is, and somehwere at the back of my mind this fact is slowly clawing its way to my heart...
And now my heart pounds heavily and rapidly and I just can't breathe. I can't breathe.

I can feel the turmoil in my stomach and the storm approaching.. I want this to be over.
I hate being mad at you. It makes my chest close in and I find myself desperate, in pain, in tears and yet longing for you...

I can't breathe....